Dumbledore's Girly Side
by therecklessdoll
Summary: ONESHOT - Dumbledore before a feast, worrying about his appearance. Incredibly funny :D


_A.N This is a joint fanfiction by XxMissJacobxX and BitterBeginnings. It is a little on- shot we thought about on the bus going from school at 6:00 PM, so we are sorry if it is a bit random and crazy! Our dear German teacher, Mr. Huber, who always wears stripes, inspired us. Hope you enjoy._

_P.S. We would really appreciate if you could check out are other fanfics as well; they are a bit more serious then this one. _

_DISCLAMER: We do not own any of these characters. They unfortunately belong to J.K. Rowling. _

Albus's Girly Side

Albus Dumbledore glanced at his twelve handed watch, through his half moon spectacles. His fine features were crinkled with worry and a tad bit of mischief, wondering what he would wear to this particular feast.

He strode over to his magnificent ebony wardrobe with ease. He loved this wardrobe, it had been given to him as a gift from the Minister of Magic when he had been appointed headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Albus pulled open the doors of his wardrobe smiling slightly at the familiar high-pitched squeak. He stepped inside his magically enlarged wardrobe being careful not to trip over the step. His gaze swept over the familiar scene.

To the right was his glorious hat display, which he treasured very much. He had hats of all shapes, sizes, colours, and patterns. His three favourites were on the top shelf placed so they were the central attraction. Among these three was the infamous sorting hat, which was perched upon a crimson velvet cushion.

He quickly walked over to the cloaks section, and pulled out a cloak at random. Albus looked at the cloak critically, and tossed it aside with a shake of his head. _Stripes are so last year_, he thought.

The next cloak he pulled out was patterned with pink and black dogs and skulls. He held it to his face and glanced into his full-length mirror, holding it to his wrinkled complexion. _Why did I ever buy this? _He thought tossing it to the side with a look of disgust upon his face.

Albus considered wearing the next cloak that he laid his eyes on. This cloak was charcoal black with violent red streaks at the hems. This particular cloak was given to him by one of his graduating students. Sighing dejectedly, Albus thought about what horrors that student was causing in the Wizarding world at this point in time. _Foolish Tom… _

He put this cloak away in one swift hand motion for it revealed too many sombre memories.

The next one was a classic. It was a long royal blue robe with a soft silk texture. It had various moons and stars patterning the fabric. His ice blue eyes softened at the familiarity of it.

Slipping the robe over his narrow head, he loped towards the sock area. At first Albus decided to wear a pair of neon pink socks, but they clashed horribly with his robe, and they made his calves look too fat for they ended just below his knees. Albus also wondered whether he should go on a diet.

He grimaced at a pair of lime green polka dotted socks that he saw sitting in his draw, he knew that they made his legs look too pale.

Slowly, he pulled out the rainbow coloured striped socks laughing his special sock laugh, and performing his little happy dance.

This years students were going to love his creative attire.

Three harsh knocks on his chamber door brought his attention out of his wardrobe. He put on his most macho mask and stepped out of the wardrobe, flexing his old worn-out muscles.

Albus shut the doors softly, so not as to reveal his most treasured possessions.

"Coming!" He called in the deepest voice he could muster.

Minerva stepped inside Albus's personal quarters, lifting her emerald robe as not to tread on it. Minerva studied Albus's attire with a half bemused and half disapproving look upon her face.

"Well," Minerva started to say while placing her hand on the doorframe uncertainly. "Don't you !"

"Well thank you Minerva." Albus gushed in appreciation, striking a pose like a male model. Minerva chuckled at the absurdity of his actions.

"Shall we leave, I am sure the students are starting to arrive by now," Dumbledore stated while gliding past her through the doorway with a little twirl.

&*&*&*

Albus tiptoed through the back door of the great hall with Minerva clicking at his heels. They assumed their places, Albus settled himself into the extremely comfortable headmasters chair with Minerva sitting to his right.

He glanced around the great hall and to his sides where the other teachers were sitting. A nervous feeling of excitement rose up inside of him as he heard the cheer chatter and footfall against the cold stone floor of outside.

As the doors opened he positioned his features into what he thought was a pose of manly wisdom. Albus adjusted his half-moon spectacles as he gazed upon the floods swarming around the room.

One of the students taking place at the rear of the slytherin table caught his attention like a bug trapped in a net. He was wearing his school robes over a fluorescent pink shirt. _How appalling _he thought, with a slight grimace. And the sorting then began.

&*&*&*

The hall grew deathly silent as Albus rose to his feet. He cleared his throat as he thought of what he should say. Millions of thoughts rushed through his head, but he pushed each and every one of them away, they were too girly.

_Should I talk about lessons? New teachers? What can I do to make it sound funny, wise, manly, and… intriguing?! How should I position myself? Should I rest my chin on my hand? Wave my wand? Should I be quick, so that they can eat, or long, so that they learns? _

These were the same thoughts that ran through his mind every year before his speech. As everyone in the hall was anticipating his grand speech, he took a deep breath and started with his fresh idea.

"Guten Tag, my students…"

And so with these four words, he began a very different year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

AN: We hope you enjoyed it, and had a few laughs. Now we understand that you were probably thinking "What the hell!" and we understand because we thought that as well. Please Review before exiting, or hitting the back button.

Thank you for reading.

BB and MJ


End file.
